The World Cup of Beers

Every four years, the world aligns with one time zone, and all nations join together to experience the greatest sporting competition on the planet. The World Cup kicked off on June 12 in Sao Paulo, Brazil as the host nation met Croatia, hoping to lift their 6th world cup trophy.
By the time this column goes to print, the United States will have already played their opening match, a dangerous clash with Ghana, the team which knocked our Yanks out of the competition in 2006 and 2010. A win and we start to believe. A loss, combined with upcoming matches versus world powerhouses Germany and Portugal, spells certain doom for the United States at the planet’s greatest sporting event.
As painful as it is to admit, USA has no chance of winning the World Cup. Coach Jurgen Klinsmann was right in his opinion with this statement, even if it’s not at all American to admit such shortcomings. Only 7 countries have ever lifted the trophy, and in all likelihood, one of those 7 will win this iteration of the tournament.
But hey, we yanks like to talk about winning, so let’s discuss a competition where we have a fighting chance. Beer. So while the ‘World Cup of Football’ takes place in Brazil, the world cup of beer will now go down in this column!
Of the countries that made the World Cup Finals, which could realistically win the world cup of beer? While Brazil, Argentina, Portugal, Uruguay, Italy and the Netherlands may all be highly ranked and would express their claim to the championship of soccer, none of these would get past the first round of the world cup of beer. Although small pockets of decent beer can be found across these vast lands, most are purveyors and imbibers of their country’s version of Budweiser.
So which countries that are presently participating in the real World Cup have any shot at our beer trophy? It would be a brilliant final four of England, Germany, Belgium and the USA.
England – the sun never sets on the British Empire, but it long ago set on the world changing English beers. The English invented soccer, they may as well have invented beer. While numerous styles had their start in the British isles: IPA, pale ale, brown ale, porter, stout amongst others, revolutionary beer brewing was in decline in England as early as the 20th century. As while a craft beer movement has begun on the Queen’s island, it’s nowhere a world beater.
Germany – while it’s the Czech Repbulic which can lay claim to the invention of the world’s most produced style of lager, Germany is certainly her champion, boasting more styles of lager than any other country in the world. And with several styles of unique ale to boot, Die Mannschaft is a strong competitor. But the Teutonic beer revolution is aged, and adherence to strict brewing laws has choked out innovation in the beer realms.
Belgium — the dark horse in the tournament, real potential heirs to the beer cup. Nonetheless, the Belgians suffer from an identity crisis, being a historical mixing pot of the Netherlands, Luxembourg, France and Germany. And while making some of the world’s greatest beer, it’s done too slowly, at a monk’s pace, in the old world style, and lacking new world versatility.
USA – say what you want about manufacturing or technology passing us by, America is a true innovator in beer. Without even delving into the history of the big 3 macro breweries, our creativity and innovation can be seen every in bottle and can of American craft beer. We are a worldwide force to be reckoned with, and there is no stopping the USA as we take the World Cup of Beer. And while you won’t see the stars and stripes come July 13 (I’m predicating Brazil v Argentina!), rest assured that American craft beer defeats all comers. Enjoy the brews … Cheers.

Gene’s Haufbrau has at more than 200 beers in bottles or on tap. Gene’s is located at 817 Savannah Hwy.  225-GENE. E-mail the Beer Snob at publisher@westof.net.