Popsicle Scene Heats Up

Guypaula Deen-Fieri, the bastard lovechild of two celebrity chefs, has announced that West Ashley will be the site of her next upscale pudding pop restaurant, Suck This!
Not surprisingly, Deen-Fieri said her recipes marry the two disparate culinary styles of her famous parents, who met for one fateful night during sweeps week.
“My signature pop is called the ‘Chicken-fried Butter Soup’ pudding pop that incorporates all the Pow! and Zowwie! my dad brings to the table, along with a deep abiding respect for all things Southern that came from my mom,” said the popstress.
Deen-Fieri’s 15 current pudding pop locations have been a huge financial success, but not for the reason anyone would have expected — passersby have mistaken the long lines of picketers standing outside for other diners waiting to get in.
Then, when the obvious fracas ensues, picketers have whacked unsuspecting diners with their signs, causing huge welts, and forcing them to purchase the pudding pops to be used as cold compresses to fight the swelling of the impacts.
“No one has actually ‘eaten’ one of my pops, per se; they’re too busy bemoaning what a terrible thing it is I’ve located in their community,” said Deen-Fieri.