Marriages bring out the best in people … and the worst in people. Recently, two of my best friends got married to each other. It was a joyous day, except for one dark cloud that hovered around the wedding from the engagement day until the wedding day and beyond. That dark cloud was a “friend” of the bride whose feelings were hurt by not being chosen as a bridesmaid.
This person was a childhood friend of the bride. Over the years, they grew apart but she was still invited to all the wedding festivities, engagement parties, bachelorette party, and of course, wedding. She declined to participate in any of these events and only stayed at the wedding for five minutes due to her incredible “hurt” by the “slight” of not being a bridesmaid.
During the course of this drama, I’ve been outraged for my friend — the bride. Over the years, I’ve witnessed family members and friends of brides and grooms everywhere become upset, judgmental, and downright opinionated by a bride and grooms choices with regards to their wedding.
I was recently talking to someone who mentioned that they would probably get married except for the fact that his potential mother-in-law would take over the wedding so much, he didn’t want to deal with it.
Why do other people think they should have so much input into the bride and groom’s special day? It’s their day, not any one else’s. I understand that all this concern and input is because people care but in my opinion, a wedding day of a friend or family member, is a day to put aside your own wishes and desires and simply be supportive.
We have all had our feelings hurt by not being chosen in a position of importance — be it in a wedding or at work or in a relationship — but as adults, we have to be respectful of other people’s choices. We cannot bully someone into doing what we want them to do. If we truly love and care about another person, we accept the way they want to put on a wedding.
So, the next time you are tempted to give your opinion about someone’s wedding day or you feel slighted by a friend’s choice, remember — it isn’t about you! In fact, it hardly ever is when we get our feelings hurt. Buck up, put on a smile and tell that bride or groom you couldn’t be happier for them. You’ll always be glad you did.
 
Katie Wells is a local writer and owns KEW Solutions, a customer service training company. She can be reached at kewsolutionsinc@gmail.com        

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