As part of the launch of a Spring into Summer Sales Super Savings Spectacular Celebration event, Rick Hendrick’s of West Ashley announced that it will be replacing its current American flag with an even larger flag.
“It’s gonna be so big they can see it from space. Those Russian cosmonauts are gonna see that there’s nothing more American than saving big on a new Chevrolet,” says Hendrick’s employee and flag project leader Rod Guffman.
The idea for a new flag came after the old flag was damaged by a small aircraft that accidentally mistook the star spangled blue field for an actual night sky. Even though the flag was only slightly scorched in the incident, the dealership took it as a sign that they needed to go bigger.
“We’re bringing in two of the loading dock cranes from Charleston Harbor to install it. From what I’ve been told, we used more fabric and dye for this single flag than Izod goes through in a year,” says Guffman.
After the new flag is raised, the old flag will receive a proper retirement ceremony in an authorized burn clearing about twelve miles south in a little-used section of Caw Caw Plantation.
Approximately 200 boy scouts will be needed to fold and lift the flag, while another 100 will build and maintain the roughly half acre bonfire needed for a proper decommission.
“We considered donating the flag to a non-profit that would turn the fabric into about five hundred and twenty tents and shelters for third-world countries, but that just wouldn’t be patriotic,” says Guffman.
The flag raising and decommissioning are expected to take place following Sunday services on April 31.
Happy April Fools!
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