Mug Shots

The following were taken from actual incident reports filed last week by the City of Charleston Police Department. These are not convictions and the names of businesses, complainants, and suspects have been left out to protect the innocent. All suspects are  innocent until proven guilty … of course.
May 15
Intimidation
An employee at a Sam Rittenberg Boulevard retail store reported to police that a man violently threatened her via digital social media. The worker said the man became angry with her after one of her friends attempted to fight the man’s daughter. The man’s threat read, in part: “Let it be none [SIC] you ugly … fake eye lashed … I am a [redacted] wreaking machine and will retaliate on you and your family, if anyone in my family gets hurt by way of YOU. Try me … I’m 55 years old and have no problem sitting the rest of my life in prison to protect my family … I will move swiftly and accurately and your grief will be astonishing …”
May 16
Liquor law violation
An Ashley Hall Road man complained to police that an unknown and unwelcome man was urinating on his front porch and drinking beer. When police arrived, they found a man on the porch with an Olde English 800 malt liquor bottle in his hand, and traces of urine nearby. The man admitted to having urinated on the porch, but defied police requests to get into their cruiser until he had thrown away a nearly empty can.
May 18
Forgery/Counterfeit
A Savannah Highway bank clerk confiscated what appeared to be a fraudulently altered check for $2,150 that a customer was trying to cash at her counter. The clerk became suspicious when she noticed that the word “Charleston” was misspelled several times on the check. It was soon discovered the check had originally been written for $338. A branch manager told police that several other branches had been approached with similarly altered checks.
May 18
Simple assault
A highly inebriated Savage Road woman complained to police that her husband’s brothers had hit her in the head and thrown her to the ground at her home earlier in the day, causing bruising and cuts. After what she said was the incident, she said she became suicidal and attempted to walk into traffic several times. This claim coincided with several other calls for service by drivers saying a woman was trying to walk into traffic. Her husband was not home during the incident, but said his wife had actually sustained her injuries while physically attacking his family members.
May 18 All other larceny
Police arrived at a Glenn McConnell Parkway hardware superstore as two men had backed up a Porsche Cayenne with dealer plates to an expensive trailer, causing both men to flee. One man was quickly caught, and claimed his buddy was paying him $100 to help steal the trailer. A check of the surroundings found gloves, lock cutters, and other tools associated with thievery. The arrested man said he only knew the other man, who was not caught, as “Red” even though he has him listed in his cellphone directory as “Little Blue.”
May 18
Simple assault
A bruised and battered woman told police she had jumped out of her car near the intersection of Ashley Hall Road and Sam Rittenberg Boulevard because her male roommate was attacking her viciously as she drove. The woman claimed her roommate had just admitted to her as having stolen a number of weapons from their third roommate. When the woman said she wanted nothing to do with the stolen weapons, she claimed her roommate threatened to “put a bag over her head and bury her six feet under.” The woman soon located her abandoned car, and police went to her residence and confronted the two roommates, who claimed it was she who stole the weapons and attacked them. Police arrested the two men after medical personnel concluded that her injuries were consistent with her story.
May 18
Assisting other agencies
Police responded to a call for assistance with a vehicle on Ashley River Road, only to be met by a shoeless man who claimed to have stolen the truck he was driving. The man went on to say that he’d been on the run for several days, and that police custody was “the safest place for him at this time.”