The following were taken from actual incident reports filed last week by the City of Charleston Police Department. These are not convictions and the names of businesses, complainants, and suspects have been left off to protect the innocent. All suspects are  innocent until proven guilty, of course.
October 13 Simple assault
A Fairfield Drive mother called police for help once her daughter turned violent after she took away her daughter’s cellphone. The mother said her daughter was attempting to contact a male she had done “Molly” with earlier in the day. After she took the phone, the mother said her daughter began throwing furniture and glass objects in their home. The mother fled to her upstairs bedroom, but said her daughter came in and threatened to light the cloth canopy of her bed with a match she had lit. The mother was able to restrain her daughter physically and called police on the phone she had confiscated.
October 14
Criminal domestic assault
Police responded to a call for help at an Etiwan Drive apartment where a woman claimed that her husband of one year had thrown lighter fluid in her face. The woman said she and her husband were embroiled in a series of verbal fights, which included deciding who would go in the rain to the babysitters and pick up their child, as well as allegations of her cheating on him. The arguments escalated, according to the woman, after the trio had gone to a nearby grocery store, which is where her husband bought the lighter fluid, and upon their return home kicked in the front door. The husband denied throwing the fluid in the woman’s face.
 
October 14 Vandalism
A Dogwood Road woman discovered that someone had cut deep gashes in her SUV’s paint job, that included messages like, “Bitch,” “Dumb Bitch,” and “[expletive] U.”  The woman said she didn’t see who did this, and has no idea who could have possible done the keying, as she has no enemies in the world.
October 15
Theft from a building
Administrators at an Ashley River Road Christian school alleged that a group of juveniles that had been attending services there had broken in on two occasions and made off with close to $2,000 in cash. Administrators said they noticed that cash collections weren’t adding up correctly dating back to when the juveniles began attending services. The juveniles admitted to breaking into the facility, but only to use the bathroom, and denied taking any money.
October 16 Drug offense
Police responded to a complaint of a man being passed out in a Cadillac behind a Folly Road restaurant. When police arrived emergency medical personnel were tending to the man, who was apparently inebriated. The man repeatedly apologized for “messing up.” Once in custody, the man was searched, which turned up a $50 bag of cocaine in his sock and boot. The man admitted they were his and that he had bought them earlier in West Ashley.
October 16
Motor vehicle theft
A woman informed police that her rental car had been stolen from her Dogwood Drive residence. She told police that she had kept the car an extra day, and that the car may have been unlocked and that she may have left the keys in the car overnight.
October 16 Drunkenness
For the second time in two hours, police responded to a Savannah Highway bar to deal with the same drunken man. The second time, the man was more inebriated that earlier. The man, who had peed down the front of his pants, admitted to having drunk “at least” two 40-ounce bottles of malt liquor.

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