The following were taken from actual incident reports filed last week by the City of Charleston Police Department. These are not convictions and the names of businesses, complainants, and suspects have been left out to protect the innocent. All suspects are  innocent until proven guilty … of course.

May 23 | CRIMINAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
An Izard Court man told police that his girlfriend was hitting the window of his house with a rubber mallet.  When police arrived and began interviewing the man, they heard the woman banging on a garage door. The two had been arguing about whether they would marry after eight years of dating. The man said his girlfriend had a history of hurting him, and showed them various bruises and scratches. The woman said the man regularly beats her. After a brief investigation, both parties were arrested.

May 22 | DISORDERLY CONDUCT
The bartender of a Magnolia Road bar told police that a drunken patron had assaulted him with a series of “drunk slaps” after the man attempted to reenter the bar. The drunken man said he’d left his phone in the bar and wanted it back. When police arrived, the man, wearing a hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts was attempting to force his way back into the bar. The man had been asked to leave the bar earlier after he threw a punch that missed another patron, and caused him to fall to the floor.

May 23 | CRIMINAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, SIMPLE ASSAULT
A William Kennerty Drive woman told police that her boyfriend pushed her against the wall after she demanded a friend of his she believed to be involved in drugs leave their apartment. The other man called the woman a name and then retrieved a pistol from the sofa, shoving it down his pants. Officers heard that abuse had been present in their relationship in the past, but this time she wanted to “better” her life and wanted to press charges.

May 23 | ASSIST FIRE
Police bought and installed a deadbolt lock on a Magwood Drive apartment of a vulnerable woman who had her door kicked in by firefighters earlier that day. Attempts to contact the apartment complex’s management proved futile, so the officer “Hartung” went to a local hardware store, and then purchased and installed the deadbolt for the woman, presenting her with the keys.

May 23 | BOMB THREATS
A Shelby Ray Court business reported receiving a call saying there was a bomb on the premises from a person with a  blocked number. Local law enforcement and firefighters created safety perimeter around the store, and searched the bushes where the bomb was said to have been placed. A bag of trash was found in the bushes, but no bomb. A second call to the store was made, but no bomb was found. A subsequent call said a nearby television station was where the bomb was at. After the building was emptied, authorities searched the facilities and again found no explosive device. Yet another bomb threat was phoned in, but this time to North Charleston police, saying there were two bombs at the store, and that they should have gone off by now. Another bomb threat was made, this time against the aforementioned storage facility in the incident above.

May 23 | INTIMIDATION
Workers at a Glenn McConnell Parkway storage facility said a woman became disgruntled when she was told her personal items were being sold after she failed to pay rental fees. The woman told the workers they had “messed with the wrong black woman,” while taking pictures of them on her cellphone, announcing “this will be the last picture anyone ever sees of you.” The store later received a bomb threat over the phone.

May 24 | THEFT FROM A BUILDING
A driver/waiter at an Ashley Towne Center Drive restaurant reported confronting a diner about stealing his cellphone. The man said he’d left his phone on a table and walked off, only to find it missing when he returned. Several customers said a diner had taken it, and so the man confronted him in the restaurant. The man denied it, and then left after paying for his meal but not receiving it. More diners reconfirmed that the other diner had taken the phone. Confronted outside, the man denied it again, and then drove off without his food.

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