Go Fish!

Enough was enough, according to the residents of Ashley Forest and Sherwood Forest neighborhoods.
Something had to be done — and that “something” was to hold a celebrity “basss” fishing tournament at the always-flooded corner of Sycamore and Magnolia roads.
Too often, kids from these West Ashley neighborhoods had returned from a day of exploring and excavating local caves, only to find that 50, 60 years later, they had been stricken with an obscure infectious disease of the lungs, histoplasmosis.
Histoplasmosis, or “caver’s disease,” comes from spelunkers breathing in the spores of the fauna-rich disturbed soil of underground caves, rich in nutrients largely thanks to the presence of bat droppings.
Histoplasmosis is a cunning, obscure, cave-related disease, in that it has no symptoms whatsoever for decade after decade for many stricken with this largely benign affliction.
Rick Solomon, a “forester” from way back, decided the only way to raise public awareness of this dreaded, minimally affective disease, was to invite some of the biggest names in bass fishing to the corner for a nationally-televised tournament.
Thanks to a quirk in local topography, wherein water won’t flow uphill or through blocked drainage grates, that corner of Magnolia Road and Sycamore has been flooded consistently enough that a huge pond has formed there.
While the surface of the pond is quite small, roughly 150 square feet, it is by no means shallow, much like Peter Dinklage’s deep and nuanced performances.
The pond that has formed at Sycamore and Magnolia goes down between 20 and 30 fathoms, according to local fish and wildlife officials.
As a result, a new species of eyeless, scale-less fish has found an environmental niche in the pond, called Lake Sycamag by locals.
Growing in lengths up to 5 feet, the largely carnivorous fish has proved a real nuisance, snagging pet dogs as unsuspecting residents walk their pooches past lake Sycamag.
Solomon, who discovered the new species, was given the right to name it, and dubbed it the “basss,” or bass with an extra “s.” Fishing officials were infuriated, as they believed his intention was to confuse anglers into coming and fishing for the dangerous beasts, at extreme risk to their own life.