Hello from sunny California! I’m writing this column while visiting my brother, Alec, in Los Angeles. He made the cross-country move after his graduation from University of North Carolina in 2007 to pursue his dreams of working in the movie business.
And, he does work in the movie business. But, not doing what he wants. Recently he got really, really close to making it big, but the deal fell through at the last minute and he has been pretty bummed out.
As we catch up, we have been discussing the state of our lives, where we are and where we thought we would be by now. The truth is, both of us feel like our reality is different than the picture we imagined. I don’t have the perfect home or even a permanent home, a regular paycheck, or an inkling of what my future holds. My brother isn’t doing the job he wants nor does he like the apartment he lives in.
We often have a picture in our mind’s eye of what our life is going to look like at certain points. Perhaps, we even have a timeline of milestones to be achieved. But, what happens when things don’t turn out the way we planned? We tend to beat ourselves up, compare ourselves to others or worse, feel like a failure.
In today’s world of social media and over-sharing, it’s really easy to feel like we aren’t living up to our peers. Both my brother and I have taken a non-traditional path. I’m self-employed and travel across the country for my job. It allows freedom and adventure, but I miss out on stability and consistency. I rent a house in an area I love, but I don’t have a home to fix up and call my own. My brother is pursuing his dream but feels frustrated, overworked, and underpaid.
As we walked down the street earlier today, my brother said something profound. “I’ve been really unhappy where I am in life lately. I don’t like where I live and I don’t love what I’m doing anymore, but I’m trying to embrace where I am.” And it hit me like a ton of bricks. It’s nothing we don’t already know. Your frame of mind on how you approach situations determines your reality but I had gotten so caught up in daily life, that I forgot to change my outlook or help my brother change his.
So, he bought a gallon of paint and started fixing up his apartment. Maybe it’s not his ideal landing spot, but he can embrace it and make it the best it can be for now. As my brother’s girlfriend stated, “Every single successful person you know, has been rejected or failed at some point in their life. The only reason they are successful today is because they didn’t believe that they were a failure. They woke up the next day and tried again.” Embrace where you are today, even if it isn’t where you want to be. Your path to change starts with your frame of mind.
 
Katie Wells is a local writer and owns KEW Solutions, a customer service training company. She can be reached at kewsolutionsinc@gmail.com

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