Detention Pond

There are many things in life that bother me — mosquitoes, taxes, and bad drivers to name a few. The first two in the above list are easy picks. They are impossible to get rid of and both want to suck us dry. But brain-challenged operators of motor vehicles annoy me because they either slept through first grade or have the liberal entitlement mindset.
I feel sure you come across these individuals on a daily or weekly basis. I refer to the scofflaws who believe the “Fire Lane” strips in front of shopping center stores actually read “This space is for you.” These lazy bums ignore the rules of civility and law so they may save a few steps. They must feel they are entitled to do so because they are special and will suffer no repercussions for their misdeeds.
I mentioned this pet-peeve of mine to a friend from a far away state and he told me that fire department officials there were authorized to write citations to the offenders. Not usually one to care how things are done elsewhere, I agree with that practice. Perhaps the brainiacs who got the police to perform the vital undercover sting involving rickshaw drivers will read this and see dollar signs for government coffers. It probably would not take too long for word to get out that there is no such thing as a free illegal parking space.
Contrary to what many politicians tell us, I believe the economy is still bumping along the bottom. Maybe fining the yellow curb parkers is too harsh right now. There’s a shallow water retention pond at the Crossroads Shopping Center that for many years has had a sign announcing its existence. The sign reads, “Detention Pond.” What if the offenders were given the option of wearing dunce caps and wetting their ankles for an hour or so in atonement?
One final topic crossed my mind (a short trip indeed). I remember when I first heard the term, “School Resource Officer.” The image of a librarian came to mind. It was not long before I learned that the title referred to a police officer assigned to a school. I’m not picking on the cop — it may be a demanding gig. However, isn’t it a shame that we need to have one less officer out on the streets so he/she can try to keep juvenile thugs in line in the buildings our tax dollars fund? Perhaps another use for the “Detention Pond.” Until next time, remember to park away from the store and
return your shopping carts.
 
James David Altman is a local writer who lives in West Ashley and has been a contributing columnist for The James Island Journal, The Free Times, and several other publications. He is the son of the late former S.C. Republican House of Representative of John Graham Altman III. You can reach him at rabidreb@gmail.com.