County Proposes “Chunnel” Solution to 526 Controversy

Alternative G is no longer Charleston County’s top option for extending Interstate 526. In a wildly innovative plan presented to Council during a recent meeting, English-born architect Geoffrey Winebottom stunned council members with a road system designed to make both advocates and opponents of the new highway happy.
“It avoids neighborhoods, marshes, and recreational areas. In fact, it avoids everything,” says Winebottom.
His solution: place the entire section of highway underground.
“The idea came to me during tea with the mayor. When a bit of crumpet collapsed on my spoon and a raisin rolled through the negative space, I thought, ‘Eureka! That’s exactly how we can solve this whole highway hullabaloo,’” says Winebottom.
Not only would this alternative avoid the hotly debated impact on local marshes and nearby James Island County Park, it would actually create yet another attraction for visiting tourists.
“The most inspired part of the whole construction involves the section under Charleston Harbor. Approximately one kilometer of the underground motorway would be entirely glassed in. Visitors could comfortably travel between the mainland and Johns Island and observe some spectacular sea life along the way,” says Winebottom.
Although some opponents to the plan have pointed out that the only thing anyone would see in the glassed in section would be the sewage dumping from idling cruise ships, the plan has already garnered a startling approval rating.
“Just after we proposed the plan we sent out a survey to vet the idea. According to the results, almost 90 percent of Charleston County residents heartily approve of burying the whole thing,” says Winebottom.
Happy April Fools!